um yeah

yesterday brian calls and says hes stuck at walmart. reason being, van ran out of gas, yet once again. theres a hole at the connection of the filler tube and the tank itself. its going to cost 140 dollars to get that fixed, and we cant get it fixed without money? the bank froze his account until he gets out of the hole. he talked to them yesterday and they said he needs to deposit money. he said "what the hell do you think my paychecks are? fake money? yall are eating those up, so i dont get ANYTHING" but really its sort of mostly his fault. i still have to find that 20 dollars hidden in my room somewhere near my entertainment center. i looked in, behind, on but not under, thats gonna be difficult...lol...madisons been sleeping a lot, i think shes going thru another growth spurt. dumbass didnt wanna get up this morning. poor dads been having to ask me for cigs. which is difficult when i have very few myself. yesterday we gave him a pack, and the day before too. im down to my last 8 cigs. not gonna last the day. yesterday, i got two packages via fedex. lol. one i was waiting for, the other was a surprise. the one i was waiting for was an international delight baking kit they were giving away. it was nice, and the surprise was a tube of eucerin lotion. i put some on my dog wilma because she has a hotspot, and likes to itch her ass on the kitchen table legs, and the lotion has oatmeal in it, so she hasnt itched since i put it on her. the van went thru 60 dollars worth of fuel in 2 days because of this hole it has. NOT COOL at all. went down to the salvation army yesterday to sign up for the christmas thing they have...this year theyre doing an angel tree, basically they put a fake tree in walmart with names of kids and what they want/clothing size/stuff like that...and its up to the shoppers to buy something for the kid...so theres NO GUARANTEE that all the kids will get something. some people really depend on that help for christmas, like me. the only thing we ARE guaranteed is a food box. yeah thats stupid, i liked it a couple years ago, when mack was still able to get stuff from them, and i came home with a huge garbage bag FULL of stuff for them. i really think its dumb that theyre doing the angel tree. the other day in the mail i got a toy that i was able to get for free, though its only part of a wooden train set, maddys been trying to get it since, so i thought i would be slick and wrap it, damn it, she said "can i have that present for me?" i said "no" she threw a fit. now i have to find a place to actually hide the damn thing so she will forget about it til christmas. and its in dora paper so she KNOWS its for her...sure i used the last of the dora paper, but whatever. i have other paper to wrap things in, and once my fil gives me that money ill have lots to wrap. i love wrapping stuff. i dont know why but i do. i didnt sleep all that great because i kept getting woken up every 2 hours. are you serious? why can i NEVER sleep thru the night. oh right because my dumbass husband delivers papers and has to leave at 2ish, sometimes earlier...and he turns the light on, which instantly wakes me up, and i cant get back to sleep, so ive been up since 230 when his best friend called. and he turned the light on. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK! i dont get naps. brians had an attitude issue because hes tired. well, he knew it was going to happen when he started to deliver papers. crap, were going to have a bad day, i just know it. maddys whining about EVERYTHING today. what a crab today. and she JUST got up. oy vey

meh! and other stuff

so, weve been beyond broke for more than a month. im pissed, brians pissed, but hes the reason we are beyond broke. keep telling him to stop writing checks, which he KNOWS are going to bounce, which in turn adds 35 dollars for a bounced check fee...he tries to blame it on me, but im not on the account and im not the one who writes bad checks. told him he needs to stop doing that or hes going to get arrested. he took a second job to try to get it straightened out, and i guess i cant put the full blame on him, because one of my neighbors decided to move in with us, and hasnt contributed to the food situation or given dad any money or us any money. 415 a month for food SHOULD last us a month, but now it doesnt and weve had to supplement an extra 300 or more a month for food. pissing me off, because dad told this guy to get a job so he can start paying for stuff, and all he does is either go out with his friends, or hang around the house, irritating me. oh and to top this off, he tells madison shes not allowed to leave the table until all of her dinner is done, WRONG. ive told him more than once that when shes done, shes done, she can get down. even if its a few bites left or if she doesnt like something i wont FORCE her to eat. im fucking tired of people thinking they can tell MY kids they have to eat everything on their plates. they know when theyre full. or if they dont like something. one of my aunts tried that bullshit with mack once, i got in her face about it, and she quit her shit. he doesnt seem to understand. oh and then hes trying to tell madison shes not allowed to have a paci. SHES MY KID, he doesnt have any. i know shes 3, and i know its bad she still has a paci, and i AM trying to get rid of them. but shes stubborn like me. plus it seems were feeding brians best friend every fucking night. dude is NOT small, hes a big guy and like eats ALOT. its not my fault that he eats all his food he buys in a day. i buy stuff that i know that SHOULD last a month, but lately its not because we have all these extra people. oh and i made my very first thanksgiving meal by myself, including the turkey. a 25lb turkey at that, and it should have lasted more than 2 days, but nope, not with this kid and brians best friend, gone in two days. had planned on making turkey stew, couldnt without turkey. oh and usually i buy food for brians best friend, but i couldnt this month because i didnt get the normal 45lbs of meat i normally buy, we usually give him a little bit out of that, so that itll take 20 off what we owe him for the phones. we havent been able to pay him because of being broke as all hell. shit, brians dad is going to rescue christmas yet once again. ya know, im getting tired of leaning on brians dad to pay for christmas for us, we should be able to do it, and you know what, when he gets taxes back, im taking about half of it, and getting the kids their christmas presents for NEXT year with it, plus clothes yeah, thats my PLAN. cant be sure it will work, but thats my plan. called someone out that owes us a lot of money on fb. he didnt like it, oh fucking well, weve tried to get the money we are owed several ways, calling him out was one of our last resorts...and then the dude had the nerve to tell me that hes going to sue us for 1700 and the two verizon phones, k, we PAID for those two phones OUT OF POCKET. second, its not our fault they were shut off, its his, we were paying on the bill, and got it down to 200, they were shut off, not our fault, its his and second, we were ADDED to HIS plan, so therefor, we dont OWE him shit, and verizon has no reason to try to get those phones back. they were ADDED to an already existing plan, and we paid for them ourselves, so no, hes not getting shit out of us. hes just being a fuckface because he got called out, and he didnt like it. oh fucking well. and im not the only one who called him out either. hes been called out by several other people. hes the one whos lost a 32 yr friendship because he doesnt even want to attempt to give us any money. his twin brother is on my side. how bad is it that his OWN TWIN is pissed off at him for pulling this bullshit. yeah. at least his twin is trying to pay us back. he only borrowed 200, and he gives us money here and there. i mean seriously, if you give us 10 dollars or 20 dollars here and there, i wouldnt have had to go to calling him out. i think its hysterical that he said he was at the courthouse when he decided to say he was going to sue us, when he was right out front? fucking idiot. i looked out the window and there he was. stupid fuck. i have more dirt on this dude than he thinks. and i so could get him arrested and make him lose his apt, if i wanted to sink to his childish level, but, im MORE MATURE than that. lmao. what a douche. brian says i dont contribute to the money situation. actually i do. its not much, but i do contribute to it...just cashed out 10 dollars from a survey site i use, plus i have 2 dollars on a card that has my name on it, plus another 2 on another card (cards i either earn money or i spend points to convert into cash on) plus i do consignment with the kids clothes they outgrew. yeah, so therefor i DO make money and i DONT spend it. was told i have 20 dollars hiding in my room, just have to find it. mom told brians best friend to tell me the vicinity of it...now, just to MOVE the object that its hiding in/under/behind...yeah that will be fun, my entertainment center, bestie, youve seen it when you came to my house so you KNOW what it looks like, it has a flat screen tv on top and its NOT easy to move...hmmm...i think that will be saturdays project...cleaning the entertainment center so i can find the money...lol...ok, ive done enough bitching...