holy cow

today is dont piss off becky day...its a day that is suited to me today. im running on very little sleep, and that tends to make me very grumpy. so anyways, pyscho called and asked if brian could "work" but we know it means "babysit" so he wont get paid. well, he TRIED to tell her she needs to give more notice, not an hour and a half, so i yelled, yes YELLED, "HE HAS A FUCKEN LIFE LET HIM FUCKING LIVE IT" to paraphrase. lmao. she did not like it. and i dare her to say anything to brian about my attitude or even attempt to talk to me, because that will also be a frozen day in hell. ok so my day just got an eensy bit better, im talking about birthday cards, and in one of those cards contained some money...lol...10 dollars just totally made my day better...lol...i wonder how much more ill get tomorrow when i go to middlefield for a party just for me. lol, prolly nothing, but hey i like getting birthday cards early...lol...since wednesday is my big 33rd birthday...money is money is money and if his mother didnt wanna pay him to go "babysit", then why do it? oh and get this...i want to know how she would be able to pay me back if i bought her a frozen lasagna if she didnt have the money to pay brian? yeah, if she has the money to buy a frozen lasagna then she can go do it her damn self, fucking lazy whore. one of the cards, not the one that contained the 10 dollars, my uncle wrote his name. hes so funny. it was from one of my aunts (one of his sisters) so he signed his name. silly. he calls me a beaut, when i was younger i was a yard ape. im not sure where he came up with that one but we were always outside playing so i guess thats where he got it. hes the youngest of 5. yes, 5, i had to think for a second. my mom was the middle of 6, yep, got that right. and its funny because on both sides the youngest is a boy and there are only two boys on each side. on my dads side for boys its dad and my uncle on my moms side its my two uncles.

REALLY? are you serious?

bahahaha, his mother called this morning (yep, surprise surprise) and wanted to know if I had any money left on my food stamps. well as a matter of fact, YES I DO THANK YOU VERY MUCH...she only wanted to know because she wanted me to buy her a frozen lasagna for dinner and she would pay me back, yeah thats gonna happen in frozen hell. she must be on crack. first off why would i take food out of my kids mouths to feed her, and second, she wont pay me back anyhow. so yeah NOT doing that one. why should i be nice to her when she treats me and mack like shit. yeah im not stupid, i may be blond but definately not stupid and i know when im getting screwed over. dinner turned out great last night, corned beef, cabbage, carrots, and potatoes. we had 2 extra guests over for dinner last night, my aunt whom i take grocery shopping every month and brians dad. i only wish my new best friend was here for dinner with her kids. that would have been even more fun. we decided yesterday we were best friends. we have so much in common and maddy and her two kids are around the same age. we have met, and the kids were weary of each other, not sure what to think, but weve only met once. we will meet again for madisons birthday party. and shes going to be my photographer for my wedding. so cant wait. really need to get some more funds for that. if only brian hadnt spent it on things not related to the wedding, but on the plus side brians dad said when we figure out how much more we need he will give it to us. the man is a saint, let me tell you. he saved Christmas for us last year by giving us money for gifts for the kids and we even managed to have some left over to buy him something. well its official, my camera is dead. DAMN IT. i loved that thing. guess its time to fess up to my dad and tell him one of the kids put it in hot cocoa on monday. damn it. mack blames maddy, maddy cant blame mack cuz she doesnt know, i mean shes not even 2 yet. but i can blame whoever i want and i choose to blame brian because instead of paying attention to what they were doing while i went to the store, he was on the computer. so its his fault. he wont own up to it, but it is his fault. then he gets pissed at the kids for something they shouldnt be doing when hes supposed to be watching them. he gets mad at the baby when she gets into something shes not supposed to or doing something shes not supposed to because he would rather pay attention to the computer or his stupid video games. JERK. me on the other hand can multi task. right now the baby is sleeping and when she wakes up its lunch time. after that play time and when her father gets home from therapy, which i hope is soon cuz i need a nap, i will take a nap, maybe. depending on when he decides to come home. if its after 2 i cant nap, but anytime before then i can. weird. so waiting for a package. or maybe 6 who knows i like surprise packages especially things i forgot i ordered and they come or things ive won and they come, kind of neat.

shes stupid

so she called again last night, of course we know im talking about brians mother. woke up a just falling asleep madison, pissed me off. she wanted brian to go "babysit" today and he told her "no, we have things to do, i have 3 appointments tomorrow, and i cant do it, get over it" while i was laying right there. good job. lol. well she called while we were at our first appointment for the day (we only really had two, but one i figured he could do on his own and thats meeting up with his dad, ok more like hitting his dad up for cash for madisons birthday present from him, a bike trailer, the one we got last year, she already out grew) so before he left to meet up with his dad, brian called her back and told her AGAIN that he couldnt do it we are busy and we have plans, and hes tired of changing his plans to go help her. well he is, and im tired of it too. last night when she called, i was laying right next to him, but yelling "fuck off, get a life, learn to take her with you, get over yourself, he has a family" yada yada yada. yeah she didnt like it. and she had the nerve to get pissed when he told her no. what a fucking baby, cuz she cant have her way, shes gotta have a fit. madisons is more mature than she is. holy hell. i swear she starts anything at the wedding, im throat punching her and i know at least one other that will too...you know who you are...lol...ok maybe about 3 others that will along side me. oh yeah if you havent figured out that im using this blog as a vent, haha, well now you know...lol. see he doesnt like it when i yell at him, but sometimes thats how i have to get thru to him. and well it actually worked because im the one who told him to tell his mother no and we have things to do. she needs to learn he has a family and his own life. oh, and she hasnt liked me since i got preggo with madison before that i was ok with her.

OMG! shes going to get throat punched

of course im talking about brians mom. fucking psycho she is. for the last 3 weeks shes called EVERY day, several times a day wanting brian to go "babysit" the woman she takes care of if she needs to run errands. she doesnt pay him, so i told him to tell her to fuck off and she needs to take this woman with her when she needs to run errands. her excuse "i cant push her, she weighs too much" the woman cant weigh more than 100 lbs. like seriously. so today he told her a million times he would be over AFTER lunch, because hes tired of not being able to eat with his family, good job on his part, shes a bitch and guess what he doesnt get to do yet once again. eat with madison. yeah. she sees him leave and doesnt understand that he will be back soon, so she stands there and screams and cries because her daddy is leaving AGAIN. and i get to deal with a temper tantrum throwing 23 1/2 month old. fun times. thank god its almost lunch time then after that is a nap. his mother needs to learn to take no for an answer, i dont give a shit, he has a family of his own. hes been trying to spend time with us but she wont let him because she has to have her way. talk about a bitch. so next time i see her (i always try to avoid her) my fist is going to meet her throat. cant junk punch her since she aint got nothing. shes called 3 times today, really, 3 all within 30 mins of each other. she needs to learn not to call. she has another kid, which surprise surprise she has nothing to do with and if she keeps it up she wont have anything to do with brian. its not fair to him when weve got a billion things to do. he told her this morning before we left for his dentist appt that we had things to do. she is so fucking stupid its not funny. i think she was dropped on her head way too many times as a baby, or maybe not enough, im not sure. when God handed out brains she didnt get any. ok, brian is a little slow but shes a lot slower and a lot stupider, trust me on this one.

well gee

ok, i really wish it would stop raining. i really dont like it raining in my room, really i dont. damn roof. madisons a cranky butt, im a cranky butt, only because i dont get to sleep in or get a lot of sleep. shes napping right now, how long will that last? ha, not long. then shell be into everything. she got mad at me earlier because i popped her leg (it was the closest part to me) for grinding her teeth. GUH! i hate that sound. dumbass, i mean brian has therapy today and then he goes to work tonight, EVEN THOUGH my dad TOLD him to stay home tonight because of the shit roof. i realize shes got teeth coming in but grinding them, REALLY? its worse than fingernails down a chalkboard. GUH! yeah i like that word today. today would have been my birthday if i didnt decide to be born 16 days late...yeah im a march 23rder. lol, not even a real word, dont care. watched the race yesterday, soooooooooooooooo glad JR came in 8th better than DNF last two races thanks to truex...asshole. and im soooooooooooooooo happy that jeff gordon had a DNF. hes an ass too. then again, my personal opinion. so dumbass decides we need all the towels we have in the house in our room to help soak up the water as its raining in my room, nice dumbass, now i cant shower. GUH! oh and not to mention someone was whiney during dinner last night because her teeth are coming and guess who didnt get to eat HOT food, and guess who did...if you guessed i got ICE COLD food, then you would be right, because he apparently thinks his food is more important than seeing what is wrong with madison. JACKASS. so i ate ICE COLD pork chops and ICE COLD noodles. yeah, GROSS. then he said he would warm up my food, yeah i had applesauce on my plate, i dont like warm applesauce, and he didnt warm it up anyways, he was in the attic with dad trying to bail water out of the pans that were placed under the roof to catch water. WHO DOES THAT? so it they kept filling up cuz it was raining ALL day yesterday, and it was irritating. yeah, so the towels are now in the wash, which means, I get the finish the damn things. nevermind i did 3 loads of laundry yesterday and i can tell ya NONE of it was mine. the kids mostly. even though i told mack that she needs to start doing her own, shes 12 and old enough. hell i was 7 when i started doing my own laundry, i was also 7 when i started cleaning and cooking. uh huh, LONG TIME. ima throat punch him one of these days. it was nice that dad took the kids with him to middlefield, yes he even takes maddy now. because shes old enough to go with him (he wont take the kids if theyre under 18 months old) it was only nice cuz it was quiet, and me and brian got it on a couple times, but besides brian driving me bonkers, yeah, it was nice. he decided that we are having sweet sausage grinders today, so besides doing laundry i have to make the sauce. because i will only use sauce I MAKE guess we will do it backwards, usually i use leftover sauce for the sausages, this time its backwards, so spaghetti tomorrow. DUMBASS.

been a long time since i posted...hmmm

so we have pretty much figured out most of the wedding plans, i have my dress out being altered right now, cost me 100 bucks, when i get it back it will be cleaned. i already have the invites, not printed out yet, but im getting there, need to get ink. brian has his tux, we have the guys all fitted, i have to figure out what type of dress im going to use for my side, i already have madisons dress and macks dress, but other than that, thats it. im making the table decorations. and i made mack and maddy hair clips, even though i know maddy wont keep them in. what pisses me off is, i started with 800 for wedding money, not including our rings which we already have and his tux cuz he paid for both of those himself, and now i have nothing, he spent most of it on stuff NOT related to the wedding, i think i spent maybe 300 of it on the wedding. things like the invites, stuff to make the table decorations and hair clips, and the alterations for my dress, now i have to come up with money to have it cleaned. great...what a jackass. plus 125 for my cousins suit and 65 for one of his friends suit cuz we are paying for my cousins and half of his friends. everyone else is paying for their own. in nov of last year he had surgery and is now in physical therapy, and its very annoying when hes home, because most days he says "im bored" and i reply, "welcome to my life, now take care of your kid" yesterday, he had therapy, then went to his whore of a mothers house, and then after dinner he went next door to help the guy that just moved in work on the house, hey asshole, your kid hasnt seen you since 9 this morning, take care of her, shes been a snot since she woke from her nap. ugh. that was yesterday, today is a new day and i bet he will pull the same shit. dont know what hes going to do tomorrow, he has therapy and i have a dentist appt. hes going to have to go with me to the dentist cuz i cant bring madison there and leave her alone, im not stupid or irresponsible. and hes all pissy cuz i MADE him go to the dentist, so now hes costing me money to get fillings. hes got 7 of them. yeah, thats bad, and my insurance doesnt cover fillings anymore so the one i have to get tomorrow i have to pay out of pocket for. he has to go twice a month to get these fixed. if he learned to take care of his teeth he wouldnt have this problem and if he learned NOT to eat so much sugar he wouldnt have this problem. he whines that his teeth hurt, well, not my problem, now it is, because i have to pay out of pocket to get his fillings. the first one is going to be on the 14th and its going to cost 108. mine cost 58 for one and thats my insurance price. yeah, my dentist is only charging me what they would charge my insurance. ahhh well...kind of irritates me because right now i have to pay his bills, i cant wait til he starts bringing home 500 every two weeks, cuz then he can give me more money and i can finalize everything with the wedding. granted its 3 months away, but its ONLY 3 months, not a lot of time. specially with everything i have to do still. we are getting our cake from a grocery store bakery because thats cheapest and ill decorate it myself. saving $$. i cant justify spending 700 on cake, for real, ill spend the 80 dollars on a cake that will serve everyone and i can decorate it myself. oh thats another thing, he keeps adding people to the list, so it went from 65 to about 80. yeah, people ive never heard of or anything, at least the people i have on my side ive mentioned. geez. i told him, if they want to come then theyll have to pay for their own shit. because i cant afford that. im providing everything. oh and were now getting a half keg cuz my dad requested it. yeah well whatever. hes going to help pay for that. so thats good

lots of stuff

ok, so i know its been quite a while since i posted here. lately my days have been crappy, like i can barely move type days, because of my dumb hips...every time i get up, they pop. its kind of annoying especially because they hurt a lot. brian hasnt worked in the last couple of weeks because of his ankle. hes going to have surgery on it on nov 17. he will be out of work and in a cast for 6 weeks then a walking cast for another 6 weeks, then physical therapy. i really hope he can get temporary disability. because his unemployment (he works and still gets unemployment to make up the difference, since he only works two or three days a week at 4 hours each shift) will be running out soon. i recently told mackenzie that she needs to step up and help out more because of my hips and brians ankle. i told her shes not going anywhere this weekend because shes gotta clean her room. i told her this past saturday that she needed to clean her room. she spent two hours in there and didnt really get anything done, so i went in on saturday night and in 45 minutes i managed to sort the clothes *hers, mine, madisons and brians and blankets, sheets, washcloths and towels* and throw some stuff away. the big thing was laundry. i need to have it all washed so i can go through it all and see what fits and what doesnt. i have a ton of clothes for my cousin sara whos due with her first baby in dec...its a girl. so im giving her everything madison outgrew that i kept.