well its been a couple months...

its been a couple months since i last posted. the kids went thru sickness, i went thru an ear infection. took me a week to go get it looked at, since im stubborn and all. brian got his license, so dad has been loaning him the van til we get our truck. dad paid 800 for a blazer for us. brian just needs to get it fixed and insured and registered before he can drive it. do i have my license? nope. do i want it? yes. can i get it? nope, my anxiety wont let me drive. its not so much the person im riding with (unless its brians dad or his roommate) its the other people on the road, i prefer my feet on solid ground where i can control my actions. on easter we went to my aunts house where all the goats and donkeys and chickens and ducks are. i decided to go see the chickens and heard little peeps...found out ON EASTER. there were 5 TRUE EASTER CHICKS. yay!!! and IM the one who saw them first so i get to have one (unless it turns out the one i pick is a male, then ill have to choose a diff one) my aunt didnt even know there were chicks, until someone said something. i think ill let maddy have my chick. last year mack got one but it was male so she had to pick another, which turns out all of last years chicks were male. madison is so talkative now. mostly complete sentences. yesterday she grabbed my leg and said "got you" or if you sneeze she says "bless" brian still has a hard time understanding toddlerese, but i breeze thru it cuz im home with her, and hes not. hes such a jerk lately. saying "oh i need to get a second job" blah blah blah, i had my little attitude issue, stormed up the stairs and stuff. ten minutes later he comes up and said "what now?" i said "good, get a second job because we dont see you ever anyways, this will just be even more of an excuse not to see your family" then i got up stormed out of the bedroom, stormed downstairs and out the door. then he followed me and said "i need to do something" i said "no, he does, its NOT our phone bill, its HIS, and yet were the only ones paying on it, its not in our name its in his. we make what payment we can every week, he hasnt even attempted to put any money on it, so therefore its not our fault if the phones get turned off, it will be his" now the him/his im talking about is our friend. he put us on his plan. and this friend owes us a lot of money as it is. and if he doesnt pay us back ill take him to court. brian decided instead of listening to his wife, to loan our friend money and when it was gone he asked what happened to it all. i told him "you kept loaning it and loaning it and loaning it out so now thanks you and him we are broke and i couldnt pay off what i needed to and get the kids stuff for summer. so yes, this would be yours and his faults, dont try to drag me into it. i told you not to do it".