LAZY LAZY LAZY

for real? you make eggs for breakfast and put the eggshells in a frying pan from last night. really, the garbage can is less than 10 feet from you. i have a TON to clean before saturday, yes in two days. it doesnt help any when no one can do the stupid dishwasher. so now not only do i have to take care of the laundry thats FOLDED on the couch, i have to completely clean the flipping living room and kitchen. because some people cant do it. so while hes out looking for a job, i have to do this AND take care of a temper tantrum throwing toddler. yeah say that one five times fast. luckily that toddler who will be 2 on monday, is laying down on the living room floor on a blanket with a couch pillow, another blanket on top of her, plus 3 blankies, a cup of milk, a cup of juice, a baby doll and a fur real friends baby chipmunk, that she tries to feed, while im boiling eggs for lunch, for egg salad, not that i actually expect madison to eat the bread. she will only eat PLAIN bread as long as theres nothing on it unless its toast then she has to have butter and peanut butter on it. other than that, she wont eat bread unless its right out of the bag. little weirdo. well my new best friend cant come to the party since her truck is broke and her husbands car is broke and there is no other vehicle available for her to use. DAMN IT. guess she and i will have to do a meet up just to exchange the kids presents...when her truck is fixed. i will bring her kids goody bags when we do a meet up. damn shame she cant make it, i was looking forward to seeing her again. now i have a bigger mess to clean up. grr...plus have to clean out the stupid toy box because people like to throw dirty clothes and stuff thats NOT toys in it. kinda pissing me off. i swear i know im lazy but i have an excuse, my hips constantly hurt, but everyone else EXCEPT my dad. dad works 10 hours a day 5 days a week, then does side jobs. like today hes going to help his friend with his truck. the ignition is shot. the key just spins in the ignition. yeah, but still, really cant clean up after yourself, youre almost 30 for freaking  crying outloud. im not your mommy, and shes a pyscho.

blech...sickness hit this house last week

the house to myself, so why is it i have all these things to do? clean the living room, fold mountain of flipping laundry, thats been growing for 4 days, finish laundry out on the porch, and flip clean my hellhole room. oh and run to the store in this freezing weather...yuck. omg shes at it again, fucking pyscho, already called twice today. yeah, NOT answering the phone. she will live. obviously if brian doesnt answer hes not home and she KNOWS i wont answer the phone. really, i mean, we have lives and they dont revolve around her. so anyways, the day after my birthday, we all got sick, well me, brian and dad did. we all threw up and pissed out our asses. NOT fun, but i had it bad, brians wasnt as  bad as mine, and well dads was not as bad as mine either, but he was at my aunts house, so i didnt see him get sick, but he told me he did. my big mouth 12 yr old told him about the camera being dead. damn her, i was going to lie to him. then again, he would have found out the truth anyways. madison was sick two days prior to the rest of us getting sick, EXCEPT mack. not fair. pepto bismol and gingerale were my best friends those two days. thursday and friday i was sick, got better just in time for the weekend. i cant wait for next saturday, my new best friend is coming over for the party. we text almost every day, or talk on fb. but only seen each other once, three weeks ago, i think, wow. yes it has to be two or three weeks, because my camera died that same day thanks to kids dunking it in hot cocoa. little brats, but i still blame brian. has to be two weeks ago, because we met up the day i got my food stamps. so yes two weeks ago. lol...wow that was totally random thoughts there...lol...i cannot believe in a week im going to have a 2 yr old. CRAP, where did the time go? stupid stereo keeps skipping songs. nothing like a little AC/DC in the morning. another thing to do on the wedding front, burn cds, including one that has the wedding march on it. damn it, we already decided our song is going to be "amazed" by lonestar. love that song and i dont really like country...lol...well more like I decided that was going to be our song. oh, pants would be good for me to put on (relax im in pjs bottoms, you pervs...lol) to go to the store, but they needed to be washed because when you piss out of your ass, things happen. my pjs bottoms have scottish terriers on them...lol...isnt it funny, i got these pjs before i got dunkin who happens to be a scotty. lol...must find one of my favorite tshirts...JR. lol...so i can wash my sweatshirt of JR. no, i dont like JR at all...LMAO. madison is a nut, she put catfood in my jacket pocket, though im not sure why? little weirdo, she takes after her daddy. this past wednesday was the big 33rd birthday for me. and i wanted my birthday sex, well he fell asleep before i could get any, so in july when he hits the big 3-0, hes NOT getting any...lol. how many more times do you think she will call? i vote 100.

i actually had fun

yesterday we celebrated my birthday on my dads side, it was awesome. ive never had THAT much fun up in the country (same place my wedding is going to be). for the very first time in 16 years i actually got on an ATV. i had a few bad experiences on a trike, thanks to my brother. whenever i wanted to ride, he would drive and purposely go through the field and find all of the holes and make me fall off, even when my dad put a seat on the back for me. it just made it easier for my brother to make me fall off, jerk. well anyways, i was kind of worried about driving macks quad, but thought, might as well get it over with, and if i dont like it i dont have to drive it ever again, well, i drove it and had a flipping blast. couldnt get me off the damn thing. lol. i even took maddy for a ride, but she didnt like it, probably because of the noise. and she was good all day even WITHOUT a nap. in total for my brithday so far, just from my dads side, i got 41 bucks. NICE. i got ten in the mail on saturday from my gram (the one that just lost my grandpa last month) yesterday i got a check for 25, awesome, so i signed it over to my dad and he gave me the cash and my dad got me three scratch tickets. he spent 6 dollars (they were 2 apiece) and on one i got 4 bucks and another 2, lol, so i got 6 bucks. lol. so it was a great day even though i had a slamming headache all day and i had been up for many many hours. me and my new best friend were texting throughout the day. it was great. stopped at the store to get cigs on our way home, and i was carded, of course the ONE time i DONT have my i.d. i get carded. son of a bitch. i mean i realize i dont look my age, but i certainly dont look under 27. by time we got home last night at seven thirty, i was exhausted, so i dragged my butt up to bed, and i was out before 8. and slept til 4. yes, a whole 8 hours, i dont even remember madison coming into our room, but maybe she never left our room, i dont know, i was just too tired. i know i turned on the tv and was starting to watch an episode of SVU, and beyond that i dont remember anything. i feel so energized this morning, and not grumpy. maybe i just needed a day of fresh air to wear me out so i could sleep. normally i dont get out of the house because i have so much crap to do inside, that it was nice to get out for ten hours and it was a beautiful day out yesterday. so i spent the majority of it outside, took a couple walks, with madison, but up there its mud country so we brought along her new trailer/stroller. she loved it. she got all dirty and muddy, but its a good thing i ALWAYS bring a change of clothes AND a pair of pjs for her. by time we left, she was already in her pjs so i didnt have to fight her to get her into them when we got home, and she fell asleep in the van, on the way home, woke up when we got home i took her jacket off and she went back to sleep. i dont know if brian put her in her own room or not. because by time he got up to bed, i was already asleep. and most times if i fall asleep before him, and if im so tired that i just go to sleep without even realizing it, just because of sheer exhaustion, i dont take my glasses off. so he ends up taking them off for me. i know he took them off last night for me, because i was just done. so fun...every weekend they go up there, theyre going to take maddy with them, because i have cousins who will watch her, so i can have time to myself. i need that occasionally too. usually when its just me in the house, i stay in bed and watch tv, i usually get sundays to myself so i can watch the entire race in peace. its great. i think next sunday brians going back up to help with sugaring, it will be the last week for it, so he will take maddy and i will be left all by my lonesome...LMAO.

holy cow

today is dont piss off becky day...its a day that is suited to me today. im running on very little sleep, and that tends to make me very grumpy. so anyways, pyscho called and asked if brian could "work" but we know it means "babysit" so he wont get paid. well, he TRIED to tell her she needs to give more notice, not an hour and a half, so i yelled, yes YELLED, "HE HAS A FUCKEN LIFE LET HIM FUCKING LIVE IT" to paraphrase. lmao. she did not like it. and i dare her to say anything to brian about my attitude or even attempt to talk to me, because that will also be a frozen day in hell. ok so my day just got an eensy bit better, im talking about birthday cards, and in one of those cards contained some money...lol...10 dollars just totally made my day better...lol...i wonder how much more ill get tomorrow when i go to middlefield for a party just for me. lol, prolly nothing, but hey i like getting birthday cards early...lol...since wednesday is my big 33rd birthday...money is money is money and if his mother didnt wanna pay him to go "babysit", then why do it? oh and get this...i want to know how she would be able to pay me back if i bought her a frozen lasagna if she didnt have the money to pay brian? yeah, if she has the money to buy a frozen lasagna then she can go do it her damn self, fucking lazy whore. one of the cards, not the one that contained the 10 dollars, my uncle wrote his name. hes so funny. it was from one of my aunts (one of his sisters) so he signed his name. silly. he calls me a beaut, when i was younger i was a yard ape. im not sure where he came up with that one but we were always outside playing so i guess thats where he got it. hes the youngest of 5. yes, 5, i had to think for a second. my mom was the middle of 6, yep, got that right. and its funny because on both sides the youngest is a boy and there are only two boys on each side. on my dads side for boys its dad and my uncle on my moms side its my two uncles.

REALLY? are you serious?

bahahaha, his mother called this morning (yep, surprise surprise) and wanted to know if I had any money left on my food stamps. well as a matter of fact, YES I DO THANK YOU VERY MUCH...she only wanted to know because she wanted me to buy her a frozen lasagna for dinner and she would pay me back, yeah thats gonna happen in frozen hell. she must be on crack. first off why would i take food out of my kids mouths to feed her, and second, she wont pay me back anyhow. so yeah NOT doing that one. why should i be nice to her when she treats me and mack like shit. yeah im not stupid, i may be blond but definately not stupid and i know when im getting screwed over. dinner turned out great last night, corned beef, cabbage, carrots, and potatoes. we had 2 extra guests over for dinner last night, my aunt whom i take grocery shopping every month and brians dad. i only wish my new best friend was here for dinner with her kids. that would have been even more fun. we decided yesterday we were best friends. we have so much in common and maddy and her two kids are around the same age. we have met, and the kids were weary of each other, not sure what to think, but weve only met once. we will meet again for madisons birthday party. and shes going to be my photographer for my wedding. so cant wait. really need to get some more funds for that. if only brian hadnt spent it on things not related to the wedding, but on the plus side brians dad said when we figure out how much more we need he will give it to us. the man is a saint, let me tell you. he saved Christmas for us last year by giving us money for gifts for the kids and we even managed to have some left over to buy him something. well its official, my camera is dead. DAMN IT. i loved that thing. guess its time to fess up to my dad and tell him one of the kids put it in hot cocoa on monday. damn it. mack blames maddy, maddy cant blame mack cuz she doesnt know, i mean shes not even 2 yet. but i can blame whoever i want and i choose to blame brian because instead of paying attention to what they were doing while i went to the store, he was on the computer. so its his fault. he wont own up to it, but it is his fault. then he gets pissed at the kids for something they shouldnt be doing when hes supposed to be watching them. he gets mad at the baby when she gets into something shes not supposed to or doing something shes not supposed to because he would rather pay attention to the computer or his stupid video games. JERK. me on the other hand can multi task. right now the baby is sleeping and when she wakes up its lunch time. after that play time and when her father gets home from therapy, which i hope is soon cuz i need a nap, i will take a nap, maybe. depending on when he decides to come home. if its after 2 i cant nap, but anytime before then i can. weird. so waiting for a package. or maybe 6 who knows i like surprise packages especially things i forgot i ordered and they come or things ive won and they come, kind of neat.

shes stupid

so she called again last night, of course we know im talking about brians mother. woke up a just falling asleep madison, pissed me off. she wanted brian to go "babysit" today and he told her "no, we have things to do, i have 3 appointments tomorrow, and i cant do it, get over it" while i was laying right there. good job. lol. well she called while we were at our first appointment for the day (we only really had two, but one i figured he could do on his own and thats meeting up with his dad, ok more like hitting his dad up for cash for madisons birthday present from him, a bike trailer, the one we got last year, she already out grew) so before he left to meet up with his dad, brian called her back and told her AGAIN that he couldnt do it we are busy and we have plans, and hes tired of changing his plans to go help her. well he is, and im tired of it too. last night when she called, i was laying right next to him, but yelling "fuck off, get a life, learn to take her with you, get over yourself, he has a family" yada yada yada. yeah she didnt like it. and she had the nerve to get pissed when he told her no. what a fucking baby, cuz she cant have her way, shes gotta have a fit. madisons is more mature than she is. holy hell. i swear she starts anything at the wedding, im throat punching her and i know at least one other that will too...you know who you are...lol...ok maybe about 3 others that will along side me. oh yeah if you havent figured out that im using this blog as a vent, haha, well now you know...lol. see he doesnt like it when i yell at him, but sometimes thats how i have to get thru to him. and well it actually worked because im the one who told him to tell his mother no and we have things to do. she needs to learn he has a family and his own life. oh, and she hasnt liked me since i got preggo with madison before that i was ok with her.

OMG! shes going to get throat punched

of course im talking about brians mom. fucking psycho she is. for the last 3 weeks shes called EVERY day, several times a day wanting brian to go "babysit" the woman she takes care of if she needs to run errands. she doesnt pay him, so i told him to tell her to fuck off and she needs to take this woman with her when she needs to run errands. her excuse "i cant push her, she weighs too much" the woman cant weigh more than 100 lbs. like seriously. so today he told her a million times he would be over AFTER lunch, because hes tired of not being able to eat with his family, good job on his part, shes a bitch and guess what he doesnt get to do yet once again. eat with madison. yeah. she sees him leave and doesnt understand that he will be back soon, so she stands there and screams and cries because her daddy is leaving AGAIN. and i get to deal with a temper tantrum throwing 23 1/2 month old. fun times. thank god its almost lunch time then after that is a nap. his mother needs to learn to take no for an answer, i dont give a shit, he has a family of his own. hes been trying to spend time with us but she wont let him because she has to have her way. talk about a bitch. so next time i see her (i always try to avoid her) my fist is going to meet her throat. cant junk punch her since she aint got nothing. shes called 3 times today, really, 3 all within 30 mins of each other. she needs to learn not to call. she has another kid, which surprise surprise she has nothing to do with and if she keeps it up she wont have anything to do with brian. its not fair to him when weve got a billion things to do. he told her this morning before we left for his dentist appt that we had things to do. she is so fucking stupid its not funny. i think she was dropped on her head way too many times as a baby, or maybe not enough, im not sure. when God handed out brains she didnt get any. ok, brian is a little slow but shes a lot slower and a lot stupider, trust me on this one.

well gee

ok, i really wish it would stop raining. i really dont like it raining in my room, really i dont. damn roof. madisons a cranky butt, im a cranky butt, only because i dont get to sleep in or get a lot of sleep. shes napping right now, how long will that last? ha, not long. then shell be into everything. she got mad at me earlier because i popped her leg (it was the closest part to me) for grinding her teeth. GUH! i hate that sound. dumbass, i mean brian has therapy today and then he goes to work tonight, EVEN THOUGH my dad TOLD him to stay home tonight because of the shit roof. i realize shes got teeth coming in but grinding them, REALLY? its worse than fingernails down a chalkboard. GUH! yeah i like that word today. today would have been my birthday if i didnt decide to be born 16 days late...yeah im a march 23rder. lol, not even a real word, dont care. watched the race yesterday, soooooooooooooooo glad JR came in 8th better than DNF last two races thanks to truex...asshole. and im soooooooooooooooo happy that jeff gordon had a DNF. hes an ass too. then again, my personal opinion. so dumbass decides we need all the towels we have in the house in our room to help soak up the water as its raining in my room, nice dumbass, now i cant shower. GUH! oh and not to mention someone was whiney during dinner last night because her teeth are coming and guess who didnt get to eat HOT food, and guess who did...if you guessed i got ICE COLD food, then you would be right, because he apparently thinks his food is more important than seeing what is wrong with madison. JACKASS. so i ate ICE COLD pork chops and ICE COLD noodles. yeah, GROSS. then he said he would warm up my food, yeah i had applesauce on my plate, i dont like warm applesauce, and he didnt warm it up anyways, he was in the attic with dad trying to bail water out of the pans that were placed under the roof to catch water. WHO DOES THAT? so it they kept filling up cuz it was raining ALL day yesterday, and it was irritating. yeah, so the towels are now in the wash, which means, I get the finish the damn things. nevermind i did 3 loads of laundry yesterday and i can tell ya NONE of it was mine. the kids mostly. even though i told mack that she needs to start doing her own, shes 12 and old enough. hell i was 7 when i started doing my own laundry, i was also 7 when i started cleaning and cooking. uh huh, LONG TIME. ima throat punch him one of these days. it was nice that dad took the kids with him to middlefield, yes he even takes maddy now. because shes old enough to go with him (he wont take the kids if theyre under 18 months old) it was only nice cuz it was quiet, and me and brian got it on a couple times, but besides brian driving me bonkers, yeah, it was nice. he decided that we are having sweet sausage grinders today, so besides doing laundry i have to make the sauce. because i will only use sauce I MAKE guess we will do it backwards, usually i use leftover sauce for the sausages, this time its backwards, so spaghetti tomorrow. DUMBASS.

been a long time since i posted...hmmm

so we have pretty much figured out most of the wedding plans, i have my dress out being altered right now, cost me 100 bucks, when i get it back it will be cleaned. i already have the invites, not printed out yet, but im getting there, need to get ink. brian has his tux, we have the guys all fitted, i have to figure out what type of dress im going to use for my side, i already have madisons dress and macks dress, but other than that, thats it. im making the table decorations. and i made mack and maddy hair clips, even though i know maddy wont keep them in. what pisses me off is, i started with 800 for wedding money, not including our rings which we already have and his tux cuz he paid for both of those himself, and now i have nothing, he spent most of it on stuff NOT related to the wedding, i think i spent maybe 300 of it on the wedding. things like the invites, stuff to make the table decorations and hair clips, and the alterations for my dress, now i have to come up with money to have it cleaned. great...what a jackass. plus 125 for my cousins suit and 65 for one of his friends suit cuz we are paying for my cousins and half of his friends. everyone else is paying for their own. in nov of last year he had surgery and is now in physical therapy, and its very annoying when hes home, because most days he says "im bored" and i reply, "welcome to my life, now take care of your kid" yesterday, he had therapy, then went to his whore of a mothers house, and then after dinner he went next door to help the guy that just moved in work on the house, hey asshole, your kid hasnt seen you since 9 this morning, take care of her, shes been a snot since she woke from her nap. ugh. that was yesterday, today is a new day and i bet he will pull the same shit. dont know what hes going to do tomorrow, he has therapy and i have a dentist appt. hes going to have to go with me to the dentist cuz i cant bring madison there and leave her alone, im not stupid or irresponsible. and hes all pissy cuz i MADE him go to the dentist, so now hes costing me money to get fillings. hes got 7 of them. yeah, thats bad, and my insurance doesnt cover fillings anymore so the one i have to get tomorrow i have to pay out of pocket for. he has to go twice a month to get these fixed. if he learned to take care of his teeth he wouldnt have this problem and if he learned NOT to eat so much sugar he wouldnt have this problem. he whines that his teeth hurt, well, not my problem, now it is, because i have to pay out of pocket to get his fillings. the first one is going to be on the 14th and its going to cost 108. mine cost 58 for one and thats my insurance price. yeah, my dentist is only charging me what they would charge my insurance. ahhh well...kind of irritates me because right now i have to pay his bills, i cant wait til he starts bringing home 500 every two weeks, cuz then he can give me more money and i can finalize everything with the wedding. granted its 3 months away, but its ONLY 3 months, not a lot of time. specially with everything i have to do still. we are getting our cake from a grocery store bakery because thats cheapest and ill decorate it myself. saving $$. i cant justify spending 700 on cake, for real, ill spend the 80 dollars on a cake that will serve everyone and i can decorate it myself. oh thats another thing, he keeps adding people to the list, so it went from 65 to about 80. yeah, people ive never heard of or anything, at least the people i have on my side ive mentioned. geez. i told him, if they want to come then theyll have to pay for their own shit. because i cant afford that. im providing everything. oh and were now getting a half keg cuz my dad requested it. yeah well whatever. hes going to help pay for that. so thats good