random randomness

brian and i got into a fight last week because he was spending all his time at his mothers work, where he worked after his day job. and it pissed me off to the extent that i was going to take my rings off. AGAIN. he hates it when i take them off. i hadnt seen him in 3 days which means madison didnt see him in 3 days and it pissed me off. we were sleeping by time he got home, didnt see him in the mornings, because he left while madison was still sleeping. this morning he asked me to do his laundry, what do i look like? the housebitch? oh wait, i AM the housebitch. yeah, still not doing his laundry. i need to wash one of my fave sweatshirts but i cant because HE is wearing it. now it reaks of alcohol because he works at budweiser breaking glass bottles so they can be recycled. went to walmart to put stuff on layaway for the kids for christmas and my fil was with us (brian just got his learners permit so he drove out there and his dad was with us cuz i dont have a license) well, fil said "dont bother putting it on layaway, ill pay for it" didnt expect that. but got the kids a few things. theyll get more, so im not really worried about it. fil bought himself a 47" flat screen tv. he had won some money at the casino on saturday, so he could afford it. also fil bought madison a child sized recliner with a cup holder and its pink. he got that at the grocery store. i dont like madison standing on the rocking chair to put her movies in and pressing play, so she can stand on that and have it not move. yesterday dad asked "what are you making for dinner?" i said "i dont know yet" he said "spaghetti sounds good, what do you need for it?" since i only needed a few things, he went and got it for me. and we had spaghetti, my moms style, since thats the only way i know how to make it. and it always tastes like moms. think today will be roast beef since all we have in the freezer is beef. no more pork or chicken. haha. oh wait we have a pork roast but i dont want that. i dont have applesauce and i dont want to go to the store to get it. yep, im lazy. besides my hips have been bothering me. sunday madisons forehead met my front teeth. hurt too. i was swinging her by her pjs and flipped her up too fast for me to catch and she got my teeth with her head. she has a small bruise on her forehead and my teeth hurt all day, theyre fine now, and it was an instant headache for me. that wasnt fun.

AWESOME NEWS!!!!

dad got a phone call the other night. then he came into the living room to tell me, MY BROTHER IS A FREE MAN!!!! he has spent the last two and a half, almost three years in jail for supposedly molesting his twin girls, when they were two. he does NOT have to register as a sex offender, and i think hes coming home. he hopes to be home by thanksgiving. which would be freaking awesome. i havent seen my brother in 4 years. a few months before our mom died. he came home with his wife and girls in tow, so we could meet the girls, i have only met them that one time, and i threw them a birthday party because they were turning two the week after they came here. i have never met my nephew and he hasnt met his son. he was born a few weeks after my brother was locked away. we have had contact with my brother via snail mail. he basically will NOT have a criminal record. its been expunged. my brother found out hes been cleared of the charges the night before we found out. first person i told was my bestie. he will be allowed to live here because of his not having to register as a sex offender. if he did have to register then he wouldnt be able to stay here, only have supervised visits, which really wouldnt be a problem since im home anyways. this is great news, i have said all along he didnt do it. and i was right. i do have contact with my SIL. and i can see pics of the kids. and my nephew looks exactly like my brother. the girls are 6 and my nephew is 3. he will be 4 in jan. just over a year older than madison. mack went to the orthodonist yesterday to get molds done of her teeth and also to put spacers in. she has 4 all on the top molars. in two weeks she will be getting her top braces. i guess thats why they only put spacers on the top. since shes only getting top braces first. then when she goes to get her lower ones, theyll put spacers in on the bottom. madison said to me yesterday "pot" lol, she was asking for a lollipop. she knows what she wants. she was weighed at WIC the other day and shes twenty four and a half pounds and 33 inches tall. so yes, shes still small, and thats fine. with me. HOLY HELL, shes been sleeping for 12 hours. she went to sleep a little before eight last night and is still sleeping. can we say growth spurt? lol. im just happy about the news about my brother.

so ANNOYED!

so for the last few weeks, brian has been working with his mom taking care of some woman, hes only supposed to work 2 hours a day. he is getting paid for it, but yesterday just really pissed me off...she had asked if he could go in for 430, ok whatever, then she calls and asks if he could go in at 230. that set me off. thats an extra 4 hours madison didnt get to see her daddy. oh and she said she was paying him 25 dollars, yeah FUCK THAT. thats 4 hours that madison didnt see her daddy, and 4 hours i didnt see my husband, are you kidding me, we are newlyweds. yeah not even 4 months yet. her excuse for not doing HER JOB? SHE WANTED TO GO OUT! yeah i think not, brian and i dont get to go out, except ONE TIME, in the 3 1/2 years weve been together, we only went out once without kids. and yes i did enjoy spending time with my husband without kids. i never get to leave without at least one kid, today i have a WIC appt, tomorrow i bring mack to the orthodontist to get molds made of her teeth. and 2 weeks from tomorrow she gets her top braces. hes supposed to work from 7pm to 9pm. while shes there, then hes supposed to walk her home. fuck that, he doesnt get home til ten thirty. that pisses me off too. she has a husband, he can walk her home, but i think he would rather cheat on the psycho. thats not the point though, she needs to learn that he has a family and he doesnt see them much because of her. oh and everytime he brings madison to her house, she barfs. must be something there that she doesnt like, you know, like pyscho...lol.

parade and other things

so on oct 2 (this coming sunday) im going to the parade in north adams, meeting up with my bestie and bringing goulash and cupcakes and a special orange frosted one for her. hehehehe. i have clothes for her kids that i bought so ill bring that box. madison decided to decorate the box so her friends can see her great job. lol. i also have an orange lighter for her. i ordered the kids costumes last week, and theyll be here probably tomorrow. one is coming fedex and the other in the mail, which makes no sense because i ordered them from the same place at the same time and theyre both coming from the same city and state. theyre both witches. macks costume is orange and maddys is pink. mack is getting braces a month from today. just before halloween and shes pissed about it because she cant have gum, gummy candy, caramel, nuts, popcorn or anything like that, but the bonus is she wont be able to chew her fingernails. her nails are horrible because she bites them. i dont bite my nails, not sure where she gets it from. last night madison caught me painting my toenails for the first time ever in my life, so she insisted i paint her finger and toe nails, then her sisters...lol. so we all have painted toe nails and the girls have their fingernails done. i dont like my fingers painted. mack has to have braces. uppers and lowers. shes getting uppers first because of her overbite, if they put the bottoms on at the same time, she would bite them right off. so six months after her tops, shell get her bottoms done. shes doing orange for the tops for now, and the bottoms, im not sure. but weve got six months to figure it out. i figure the orange will go good with her hair. because in some lights her hair is orange and others its red. madison has been letting me put her hair up. and i trimmed her bangs last week, i got tired of her pushing them out of her face so i trimmed them. came out straight which is amazing. lol. she doesnt like staying still, so i had mack hold her arms and head still.

officially married

so saturday was the big day. FINALLY! i noticed myself that i have calmed down, im not snapping at anyone at all, other than madison who tends to push my buttons when im tired. it was a great day all in all. at 8 in the morning my maid of honor and i did a no rain dance. it cleared up and the sun came out in time for the ceremony, then it rained while we ate, cleared up for us to have our dance, rained, cleared up for us to cut the cake, rained, cleared up for us to take the quads to go change, and rained the rest of the afternoon. its amazing that it stopped when we had things to do. then rained after we did what we needed to do. we KNOW my mom was there in spirit, EVERYONE felt it. my aunt who was marrying us called me by my moms name which happens to be my middle name, i corrected her by loudly whispering "my name is becky, not susan" then she asked if she had called me susan and i said "yes" she apologized and was going to redo the parts she called me susan, but i said "just  keep going" lol. i had my hair in a french braid with little flowers and ribbon intertwined in my braid. brian had gotten sweat in his eyes, and everyone thought he was crying. i didnt cry. but thats because my bridesmaids and maid of honor were making me laugh. we brought the suits that were rented back yesterday, and brians so it can be cleaned. and yes i was a smart ass with the cake, i threw a piece at brian and got him AND my dad, so my dad threw some at me and got my dress...hahahaha....it really was a fun day. i really thought i was going to cry but im really surprised i didnt. i think its because i KNEW my mom was there in spirit. my grandpa, aunt, brother and other mom (two of the groomsmens mom) were there in spirit as well. since theyve all passed away. the rehearsal was pretty funny too. then again i was half blitzed on rum and coke, and my aunts dog was jumping at the plum tree trying to get a stick which he is no longer allowed to have because he had an accident last month where a stick got stuck in his throat so he had to have emergency surgery. we got married under that tree, which when i was a kid was my favorite climbing tree. when my aunt asked if anyone objected to us being married, she also added "my brother wanted me to say that if anyone objects he will get the shotgun" NOONE objected. LMAO. her brother is my dad. at the very last minute my back up photographer and ringbearer didnt show (turns out they were both sick) so we had one of my bridesmaids son be the ringbearer and since i have two digital cams, my cousin in law used one and my uncle used the other. the pictures came out great.

single digits now

we are now down to 9 days til the big day. im a ball of nerves. i lashed out at brian last night because i was so tired. i got up at 330 yesterday morning and had no nap at all, which makes for a very grumpy becky. i tried to get maddy down for her afternoon nap but she wasnt having it so she was whiney. we argued for a little bit, and i feel bad, but he knows if i dont get much sleep i get grumpy. everyone else in the house gets to sleep but me. i was asleep by 930 last night, which is unusual for me because if im that exhausted im usually out by 8. but i couldnt because madison wasnt sleeping by then and he was playing on the computer, which irritated me. i think once the wedding is done and over with ill be not so pissy. its mostly my nerves that drive my tude lately, and i know he doesnt like it, but i stress about way too much way too fast, but thats just how i am. i try to not let the stress get to me, but i cant help it. it doesnt seem like hes stressing much about it. i need to find a way out to whorles to pick up two picnic packs of meat...it contains hot dogs, hamburgs and sausage patties, which i will get sweet sausage. i dont like hot sausage, it irritates my stomach. mack is going to NYC tomorrow with my dad, my uncle, my cousin, my aunt and my gram til sunday. tomorrow will be the first night it will be just me and maddy all night. great, make my anxiety even worse. theres usually someone else in the house with us, but tomorrow night brian has to work and everyone else is going to NYC. i mean i know she will do fine, but my anxiety tends to make me worry about things which tends to make me NOT sleep. im thinking ill let mack take my NEW camera so she can take pics. ill even send a couple extra batteries. WTH heartburn from strawberries? WTF. thats new. lol...i just hiccuped and it tasted like strawberries. its been so peaceful since his mother hasnt called in get this 3 weeks. and if she has called i dont remember...lol. today its going to be tuna fish and chips for lunch, no clue about dinner. suppose i could take something out. since i went grocery shopping the other day, but its hot out and i dont want to turn the oven on. so maybe we will have egg salad for dinner. not sure. that would require me walking my fat ass to the store to get a jar of mayo. forgot it the other when i went shopping and i looked right at it. we only use hellmanns because thats what i was raised on and i like it better than anything else. meh, ill wake him up in a little bit and make him go...im good like that. just cuz i have so much to do here. like more flippin laundry. and its not even mine. oh well

10 days

holy crap, in ten days ill officially be married. where the heck has that year gone? i feel like ive been planning this thing by myself, though i know i havent. the only major things we need to get paid off are the cake and getting flowers. i have a cake person who is going to put real flowers on the cake along with the topper i picked. simple things. the flowers im just getting from the grocery store. the tent and tables are coming from a guy brian usually works with in the summer, and he said we dont have to pay him all at once and we can make payments when we can, hes really cool about it. im so exhausted, i dont sleep all that great, and dont get to take naps because no one will leave me alone! i tried to relax yesterday and all i heard was bickering between brian and mack and he kept sending the girls up to me. i dont bother him when he sleeps (except today because he said he wanted to go drop his tux off to get cleaned) like 45 mins ago. haha, you see what weve done, NOTHING. hes still sleeping. he hates when people mess with his ears, so what do i do to annoy him? mess with his ears. because its FUNNY! he messes with my ears, whats the difference? i hate when people mess with my ears or feet. i hate when people touch my feet, i hate anything on my feet. i dont like socks or shoes and only wear them if i have to. oh and bras too, i hate them. again only wear them if i have to. usually if im going out downtown, i dont bother because it will annoy the crap out of me. but if im going to someones house then i will. this past sunday brian and i practiced our vows with my aunt whos marrying us. and the part where i THOUGHT i might cry, i did. i didnt cry during the exchanging of the pretend rings, but rather the "til death do us part" part. because my mom wont be there. and i know she would be proud of me. so it wasnt sad tears it was more of happy tears if you want to call them that. crap, i still have to make some more table decorations and do a few more things for that. need to find the basket mack used in a wedding as flower girl for maddy. so she can use it.